We didn't want to do this.

Bill, you know we didn't want to do this, but you left us no choice:




Embrace the vaudevillian within and join us. JOIN US!

We NOW have PROOF!

EUREKA!

Bill Wood, with his holier than thou antics, heckling our wonderful little show whenever the devil makes him do it. . .

Well sir, we now have PROOF that you, Mr. Bill, removed your clothing on our stage! That's YOU with guest Beatnik and burlesque artist Betty Sioux Tailor! The jig is up, man! What say you, scoundrel?? Is that an unabridged, pocket version of the New Testament in your gold hot pants, or are you just glad to see us? Please answer this query, you so and so.


Love,
The Sparkling Beatniks



Post Script: We blurred your true identity in an effort to
preserve a sliver of your anonymity, you sexy beast. . .

Another great night under the lights

MAN!
The show at Perishable last night was like Jem-- Truly OUTRAGEOUS.
Hotter than hell and packed to the gills, but a JAM-packed evening of non-stop entertainment for one and all. Our own Richard Goulis described the night like this:

Vomit and wigs
pasties and tights
Another great night
under the lights

Brownies and Ben
Velma or Verna
Uncle Dave birthed
and got a hernia

The Band played on
The crowd went "Harooo!"
An Historic event
Our Empire Revue.

And oh dear. . . we had to spoof our friends the hipsters. We love you guys, it's just that hipster is the new comedy, and we had to go there. Until we nail down that footage of our sketch for your perusal, we're hoping this flippin' SYMPOSIUM on hipsterness we just found on You Tube will satisfy your thirst:



And you know what's REALLY hilarious, is that a few of the panelists actually think hipster is a new concept, born in the trendy Brooklyn neighborhood of Williamsburg.

Have they not heard of Straight From the Fridge, Dad: a Dictionary of Hipster Slang? This invaluable dictionary was written/compiled by Max Decharne in the year 2000-- and consists of more than seventy years worth of righteous words and phrases complete with handy examples of the said word or phrase in a hip and happenin' sentence from old crime novels and beatnik text. You can't go wrong. Why talk when you can beat your chops? Here are a few words, along with a useful, Sparkling Beatnik sentence to get you started:


Slush Pump = trombone: "Check out Pam as she wails on her slush pump!"

Build me a drink= mix me a coctail: "Don't just stand there! Build me a drink!"

Fracture your toupee = Go crazy: "Hey, pipe down, fella. You don't wanna fracture your toupee."


Well, gotta go play my groan box. I mean, my accordion. Go on now, you cheeky people.

See you on AUGUST 3rd @ AS220!

You think you can bully us?

You know what, Bill Wood-- we saw your little poster.
You think you can bully us? Think again.

We'll see YOU at the Revue.

The Sparkling Beatniks

Happy Birthday, Keith!

Hiya folks!

Just two days before the next Empire Revue! We're going to have a ball. At the moment, it's raining here, so I guess you'll just have to come to the show to get your fireworks!

Oh yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEITH! Born on the fourth of July! You, Stephen Foster, Leona Helmsley, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Calvin Coolidge and a few other famous folks. . . That's pretty awesome. In your honor, here's a little ditty by Jem and the Holograms I found on a friend's site, and I couldn't help sharing it! Truly outrageous!




See you all at the next Revue!!
Marya
Sparkling Beatnik

Len Cabral at the Empire Revue!

Internationally acclaimed storyteller Len Cabral, will perform at the next Empire Revue! Cabral's exuberant tales weave myth, magic, and his Cape Verdean ancestry into artful storytelling. Both Cabral and our good friend, Bill Harley will perform at the Taos Storytelling Festival in New Mexico later this year. See them BOTH at the Empire Revue on July 6th!

H is for Hipster

Want to know what we're working on for Sunday's show? Well, we're not much into spoilers but, here's a hint, courtesy of POYKPAC:




All we're saying is, H is for Hipster. Hang onto your Bronsons. . .
The tragically ironic never go out of style. . .

Whatever,
Marya