Big in Japan

You're thinking WHERE DID THEY GO!
Well, we have shit to do.
No we don't.

We're just lazy. . .

If you missed our show, which was FULL of obscenities, worry not-- you can check out the best moments on you tube, when we get our hot little hands on those videos. Also, we said our goodbyes to a core member of the Sparkling Beatniks, Eric Fulford-- he's off to conquer Japan in a few weeks. We hope Eric goes Big In Japan, and cranks up a satellite Empire Revue there. But of course, the name will have to change. Got any ideas?

What about:

"Very, very good times, loud nasty, nasty, cheese puffs!"
I'm pretty sure that's the literal translation of Empire and Revue-- with a few liberties thrown in.

This is what The Empire Revue might be like in Japan. Or, on some distant planet:


Or, maybe this is more like it:



Signing off. . .
More drivel next time. . .

--Marya

Blog Czar and Sparkling Beatnik

We didn't want to do this.

Bill, you know we didn't want to do this, but you left us no choice:




Embrace the vaudevillian within and join us. JOIN US!

We NOW have PROOF!

EUREKA!

Bill Wood, with his holier than thou antics, heckling our wonderful little show whenever the devil makes him do it. . .

Well sir, we now have PROOF that you, Mr. Bill, removed your clothing on our stage! That's YOU with guest Beatnik and burlesque artist Betty Sioux Tailor! The jig is up, man! What say you, scoundrel?? Is that an unabridged, pocket version of the New Testament in your gold hot pants, or are you just glad to see us? Please answer this query, you so and so.


Love,
The Sparkling Beatniks



Post Script: We blurred your true identity in an effort to
preserve a sliver of your anonymity, you sexy beast. . .

Another great night under the lights

MAN!
The show at Perishable last night was like Jem-- Truly OUTRAGEOUS.
Hotter than hell and packed to the gills, but a JAM-packed evening of non-stop entertainment for one and all. Our own Richard Goulis described the night like this:

Vomit and wigs
pasties and tights
Another great night
under the lights

Brownies and Ben
Velma or Verna
Uncle Dave birthed
and got a hernia

The Band played on
The crowd went "Harooo!"
An Historic event
Our Empire Revue.

And oh dear. . . we had to spoof our friends the hipsters. We love you guys, it's just that hipster is the new comedy, and we had to go there. Until we nail down that footage of our sketch for your perusal, we're hoping this flippin' SYMPOSIUM on hipsterness we just found on You Tube will satisfy your thirst:



And you know what's REALLY hilarious, is that a few of the panelists actually think hipster is a new concept, born in the trendy Brooklyn neighborhood of Williamsburg.

Have they not heard of Straight From the Fridge, Dad: a Dictionary of Hipster Slang? This invaluable dictionary was written/compiled by Max Decharne in the year 2000-- and consists of more than seventy years worth of righteous words and phrases complete with handy examples of the said word or phrase in a hip and happenin' sentence from old crime novels and beatnik text. You can't go wrong. Why talk when you can beat your chops? Here are a few words, along with a useful, Sparkling Beatnik sentence to get you started:


Slush Pump = trombone: "Check out Pam as she wails on her slush pump!"

Build me a drink= mix me a coctail: "Don't just stand there! Build me a drink!"

Fracture your toupee = Go crazy: "Hey, pipe down, fella. You don't wanna fracture your toupee."


Well, gotta go play my groan box. I mean, my accordion. Go on now, you cheeky people.

See you on AUGUST 3rd @ AS220!

You think you can bully us?

You know what, Bill Wood-- we saw your little poster.
You think you can bully us? Think again.

We'll see YOU at the Revue.

The Sparkling Beatniks

Happy Birthday, Keith!

Hiya folks!

Just two days before the next Empire Revue! We're going to have a ball. At the moment, it's raining here, so I guess you'll just have to come to the show to get your fireworks!

Oh yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEITH! Born on the fourth of July! You, Stephen Foster, Leona Helmsley, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Calvin Coolidge and a few other famous folks. . . That's pretty awesome. In your honor, here's a little ditty by Jem and the Holograms I found on a friend's site, and I couldn't help sharing it! Truly outrageous!




See you all at the next Revue!!
Marya
Sparkling Beatnik

Len Cabral at the Empire Revue!

Internationally acclaimed storyteller Len Cabral, will perform at the next Empire Revue! Cabral's exuberant tales weave myth, magic, and his Cape Verdean ancestry into artful storytelling. Both Cabral and our good friend, Bill Harley will perform at the Taos Storytelling Festival in New Mexico later this year. See them BOTH at the Empire Revue on July 6th!

H is for Hipster

Want to know what we're working on for Sunday's show? Well, we're not much into spoilers but, here's a hint, courtesy of POYKPAC:




All we're saying is, H is for Hipster. Hang onto your Bronsons. . .
The tragically ironic never go out of style. . .

Whatever,
Marya

Welcome to our new Website!

Hey, this is Keith Munslow, people!

As we vault into our third season, the Empire Revue web presence continues to grow! In addition to this blog, our myspace and our You Tube pages, we've just launched our website. The site serves as a portal with links to the various internet arms of the Empire Revue and its artists. Soon the website will include info on our previous seasons, including cast bios, a FAQ page, a place to get your Empire Revue merch, downloadable hokum and more! Visit us early and often!

See ya at the next show on July 6th!

Keith
Your Host and fellow Sparkling Beatnik

The July 6th Show Fast Approaches

Hello, friends of the Empire,

As the July 6th show fast approaches, we want to keep you tuned into the happenings for the Revue! Yes, yes, is just TWO DAYS after the Fourth. But, with this oil crisis, are you REALLY going out of town?? Why not celebrate the Fourth of July, on the 6th, with us??! We're also exploring our raison d'etre by tipping our hats to our French friends-- we're celebrating Bastille Day as well. Did we mention we're turning DEUX? We have a jam-packed fun show for you!

The upcoming Empire Revue show on July 6 welcomes guest Beatnik Omar Reyes, AS220’s new poetry coordinator, and features local musician Jake Haller, mentalist, Rory Raven, songwriter John Campbell, burlesque artist and former guest Beatnik Bettysioux Tailor, not to mention internationally known side show artist The Human Floor, who will soon perform on Comedy Central’s revival of the 70s cult program, The Gong Show!


For the next few blogs we'll be spotlighting a few of our guests for the July 6th Show. First up is the astounding Rory Raven, brilliant mentalist, author, and the creator of THE BEST PROVIDENCE GHOST TOUR IN TOWN. Seriously, we love this guy. Check out one of his previous performances at the Revue:



Did you watch the clip? Don't lie, we'll know. Amazing right??

Whether you're a skeptic or a believer in magick-- (yeah, we spell it with a k) you're going to love Rory's rapport with the audience, his dry sense of humor, and his spot-on totally mental antics. Now, if you haven't seen Rory Raven do his thing, don't expect to have a paranormal experience-- it's not that kind of magick show, he's not trying to be Uri Geller. Rory's talents are steeped in the old school arts-- slight of hand, great conversation, and psychological notation, which gets you everytime. This guy can tell what you had for lunch two weeks ago by the number of times you BLINK. Don't take my word for it-- come to the show.


Expect to see some of The Empire Revue’s reoccurring segments including the chronicles of Meruncle, Clumpy the Propaganda Squirrel, Today in Presidential History, and of course stinging-hot swinging interludes by The Superchief Trio featuring Tom Ferraro. Keith, our intrepid leader says with such an eclectic line-up of guests and great original sketches by us, the Sparkling Beatniks, The Empire Revue aims to present a little something for everyone. “I’m not being flip when I say this; my biggest goal is to bring diverse audiences to the show, from skate punks to grandmas.”

We believe ya, man.

See you at the show. . .
Marya
Beatnik

Dressed up as a gigantic Anne Geddes model?

I am currently a long-term substitute teacher, and my students recently discovered the ol’ Empire Revue. At first, I was terrified- what would they think? Would they lose their respect for me after seeing me dressed up as a gigantic Anne Geddes model? Would the proliferation of bouncing pasties offend their delicate adolescent sensibilities? Would I walk into school one morning and be greeted with a hearty “I shoulda thrown you in the dumpster the day you were born, you fuckin’ retahd!” As it turned out, my fears were unfounded. The kids love the Revue, and I realized that I underestimated their maturity. If anything, they respect me MORE having seen the Revue- even kids I’ve never had before are finding the youtube videos. And they are certainly mature enough to handle the “adult themes” present in our show. Yes, it looks as though I worried for nothing. It’s not like my students would ever take advantage of my participation in something like the Revue. They certainly wouldn’t try to use it as a tool to potentially boost their own grades, would they?


Written on the back of a final exam:









…*sigh*



Eric
The Professor

The Fool's Other Ball

Since The Empire Revue's Keith Munslow and Richard Goulis are performing their own brands of crazy in The Fool's Ball at AS220 on June 28th , we thought we'd crib this from their website:



Here's more info we stole. Gotta love GOOGLE ALERTS. Now who's the fool's other ball?

The Fool's Ball had been an AS220 tradition for years before replaced by Foo Fest for our 20th anniversary. This summer, the Fool's Ball is back as AS220's fancy and farcical fundraising event - a night of masked marvels, curious convoluted contraptions, artistic absurdity, and delightful dancing, eating and drinking! Our mission to provide an unjuried and uncensored forum for all Rhode Island artists has been made possible throughout the years by support from people like you. We'd like to invite you to this years Fool's Ball to keep AS220 and the freedom of expression alive and kicking. We'd love you to join us and a whole gamut of Providence gallivanters on Saturday night, June 28th for the wildest party since last Fools Ball! (READ MORE)

Become one of our intrepid sponsors!

Can you believe that back in the day a show like ours would have had its own digs? That's cool, no problem. We like the little stage we haunt, one evening a month, at AS220, and we love it when you pack the house! But you know what we miss? We miss the good old FTP.

We had, for four short years from 1935-1939 a NATIONAL THEATRE in this great country of ours and it was called The Federal Theatre Project, part of the New Deal, approved by one of our favorite Presidents, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. The FTP gave hope to the hopeless, as the country struggled to climb out of the pit of the Great Depression. Headed by Hallie Flanagan, The Federal Theatre Project pulled actors, directors, stage hands, set and costume designers, writers SHOW FOLKS out the bread lines and put us all back to work! Even a brash young man named Orson Welles got his big break, stateside, with his direction of Voodoo Macbeth which featured an all-black cast! REVOLUNTIONARY!!




The FTP was disbanded in 1939. The deal was apparently too new-- the FTP was labeled, "Communist." Welcome to the dawn of the Red Scare. . .

Today, lots of artists like us who make our own work, cobble together a living just short of Piracy. And we live to have the kind of fun we muster up at the Empire Revue-- we're grateful for your patronage. For two years we've been sweatin' and dancin' and singin' and foolin' around, for your amusement, and ours! Thanks to the generous folks at AS220 for giving us a home, and thanks to EMPIRE LOAN for their unwavering sponsorship.

We're living in a different kind of great depression, now-- if you know a patron of the vaudeville arts who'd like to become one of our intrepid sponsors, come on up at the end of the show and let Keith Munslow know!



See you on July 6th!
Marya
Sparkling Beatnik

The Empire Revue turns TWO!

The Empire Revue celebrates its Second Anniversary in July! Hard to believe, but true. With new acts and an ever-expanding audience, we're showing no signs of slowing down in the season ahead. As Hannah Devine springboards over to the Emerald Isle, and Eric Fulford sets his sights on spending a year teaching in Japan, we welcome veteran actress/director/writer Kate Lohman to the Beatnik fold. Kate's many years in the Rhode Island theatre scene and her smart-n- twisted sense of humor make her a shoe-in with fellow cast members and audiences alike.

Bettysioux Tailor, also a featured performer in our show, continues to expand her presence in the cabaret. Miss Bettysioux is a BIG HIT with our audiences, with her sensational burlesque dances and stellar costumes, but she's also a terrific actress. Bettysioux joined us as a Guest Beatnik for the June show, adding acting and singing to her plate. Not to mention an inspired run-in with our heckler Bill Wood who turned out to be. . . HER FATHER! You'll just have to wait until the video of this historic confluence is posted. Let us just say, "You had to be there". Bettysioux will be back to perform her own brand of burlesque, in July!

Also in July we welcome Omar Reyes as our Guest Beatnik. Omar is originally From New York City and moved to North Providence during his freshman year of high school. At the end of his senior year in college he discovered the Providence Poetry Slam @ AS220 and is now the Poetry Slam Director in training. Congratulations, and welcome to the show, Omar!

And, our long anticipated website, empirerevue.com will be up and running SOON (we promise) with able assistance from Tree Kangaroo Creative's Serena Andrews. (Perhaps we'll get Serena to bring back her born-in-Bangor, alter ego character Bertha to grace our stage!)


Lots and lots brewing, people, so stay tuned!

Keith Munslow
Your Host and fellow Beatnik


The Empire Revue Turns TWO!
July 6 @ 8pm
Perishable Theatre (in JULY only!!)
$8

And now a word from our sponsor!

And now a word from our sponsor, Empire Loan! They really keep our organs pumpin'!

Mmmm . . . Cocktails!

The Empire Revue House Band is none other than Superchief Trio (with special guest, Tom Ferraro)! If you're a regular at the show, then you know how sizzlin' hot this band can get when things are really cooking. What's that? How'd the band get started? Glad you asked! Here's a little something about Superchief Trio:

***

Superchief Trio features a unique combination of two-fisted piano, red hot trombone, powerful vocals and frenzied percussion antics, all rolled up into one small package. Swing, New Orleans R&B, jump blues, boogie-woogie - it's all in there. And with a repertoire of tasty original tunes and carefully selected covers by Professor Longhair, Huey Smith, Smiley Lewis, Wee Willie Wayne and a raft of others, this group is the ultimate dance-party band.

Pianist Keith Munslow met trombonist Pam Murray at Providence arts incubator AS220, where they performed together in the Smoking Jackets and the Neo 90s Dance Band. Keith and drummer Johnny Cote played together in the Big Nazo band, and soon Johnny became the drummer for the Neo 90s. Having cut their teeth on rough-and-tumble dance blues with the Smoking Jackets, Keith and Pam began playing gigs at a dim and smoky basement bar (now defunct) called The East Bay Regatta Club. Owing to safety in numbers, Johnny Cote was recruited, and Superchief Trio was born. The casual nature of the place and its heckling denizens encouraged recklessness and experimentation with new songs, new arrangements and inspired a higher level of daredevil musical abandon. Emerging from this subterranean honky-tonk, Superchief Trio continues the tradition of good-time music and barrelhouse hijinks.

***

But one song is never enough with this band. Why not go to one of their gigs? Check out Superchief Trio later this month:

Saturday, June, 14 2008 at The Cambridge River Festival
along the banks of the Charles River, Cambridge, Massachusetts

Friday June 20, 2008 at Lucky's in Foster
143 Danielson Pike RI 02825
8:30- 12:30

And of course, at the Empire Revue, JULY 6th! @ 8pm
(we're @ Perishable Theatre next month . . .)

See ya there!
Marya
Beatnik

These Boots are Made for WALKIN'

We had the unusual pleasure of having international sideshow performer THE HUMAN FLOOR in our show on the AS220 stage this month! It was a nail-biter, folks. Gasps! Shouts, swooning-- it was like the HBO Show Carnival in there! Watch as Bella Mynx Burly-Q give HF the old one-two! And three . . . four. . . oh God.

What really put us over the edge was finding this episode of the Tyra Banks Show. WOW!

Rebel Lovers? Who Knew?

Well, Obama is the Democratic Nominee, though Clinton has yet to concede. It's going to be a long, hot, sticky road to the White House, so we might as well have a few laughs along the way. To honor of the tug of war to come, the Sparkling Beatniks offer a new segment to The Empire Revue for your amusement, and perhaps, your amazement.

The Empire Revue presents

TODAY IN PRESIDENTIAL HISTORY!

On the first Sunday of every month at AS220, we will highlight events in the history of this fine nation, no matter how obscure, no matter absurd the moment may be. And, we're doing it with puppets. If you missed the June 1st installment of Today in Presidential History, here's a little recap.

On June 1st:

• The Brits sank the US Frigate Chesapeake.
  
• Kentucky and Tennessee joined the Union.
• Owen Goulis turned 6, and became President, in the future.
• Marilyn Monroe was born.

Probably the most wonderfully obscure event in Presidential history on this date was the death of James Buchanan, president #15. Actually, the life of Buchanan was a lot more interesting. Buchanan was and still is the only US president to never marry, AND he lived with Alabama Senator William Rufus King for 15 years prior to his presidency, possibly making him the first openly, closeted gay president of the United States. That's right. You heard me.

What's so funny about that? What's the evidence, you might ask. Well, apparently, bloodthirsty Andrew Jackson referred to King, Buchanan's domestic partner as, "Miss Nancy" and "Miss Fancy."

That's ridiculous enough for us. . .

Check out the show on July 6th. Guess who turns a year older. George Walker Bush. This is gonna be fun.

See you at the show,
Marya
Sparkling Beatnik.


PS-- JULY'S EMPIRE REVUE will be @ Perishable Theatre, right next door to AS220. BE THERE!

The Empire Revue BLOG

We've finally made it into the blogosphere. . .
Just had a great ACTION-PACKED show the other night. You know, the usual wacky business you'd have to see to believe.
Sadly, it was the last show with Miss Hannah Devine, for a while, at least. She's headed to Ireland, to seek fame, fortune and love. Have at it, missy!

Just don't forget us, Hannah.