An f-load of Santas. . .

Want a preview of the next Empire Revue?? It's gonna look a little something like this:




We're getting ready to drop the Santa BOMB on ya-- SUNDAY, December 7 @ 8pm at AS220. BE THERE!

Don't miss the LAST EMPIRE REVUE! (For 2008!)

Hello Friends,

This is Keith Munslow, host of the Empire Revue. We're gearing up to bring you a little holiday cheer, and the *LAST REVUE* for the year! Join us, won't ya?


SUNDAY, DECEMBER 7th @ 8pm $8

Guest Beatniks:
*Local musician/songwriter/actor Chris Rosenquest
*Shiny-bright rising star Madeline Trainor

AND . . .
*Dave Howard (lead singer from Roomful of Blues)
*Burlesque with the ever-dazzling Bettysioux Tailor
*Revue favorite Jacob Haller
*Guitar slinger Eric Fontana
*Groove-a-licious tunes from the Bistro Beat

PLUS your favorite funnybone fondlers: The Sparkling Beatniks & musical ambassadors Superchief Trio!

Hope to see ya there!
Cheers,
Keith

Halloween Screams Early for the Empire Revue

What do you do when your show is THREE WEEKS before the spookiest night of the year? You celebrate OKTOBER FEST! That's right, dust off the old lederhosen-- we're going to Bavaria! Hold on to your knickers, guard your Hosentürl and get ready for the OKTOBER 5th Show! We know you'll want to get ready for a fine evening of beer consumption by learning a few useful phrases:


* Ich will dich. - I want you.
* Zieh das aus! - Take this off!
* Bitte hör auf! - Please stop!
* Sachte! - Easy tiger!
* Das war seltsam. - That was weird.



(phrases and image courtesy of Jon De Keyser)

That ought to get you through the night. Oooohh, that's a rather hot look, actually.

Anyway. . .

Expect the usual fantastic guest acts, another puppet show, a visit from our favorite restaurateur, a few scantily-clad and brilliant ladies and one mummy. . . we mean, Bill Wood. Halloween Screams Early for the Empire Revue! See you there!

The Sparkling Beatniks

As the Election Approaches. . .

TODAY IN PRESIDENTIAL HISTORY is the Empire Revue's puppet segment. Every variety show should have puppets. . .

Every month, we use the date of our show to highlight events that occurred on that very day, somewhere along the timeline, in the history of the United States, and the world. We reach into the anus, I mean the annals of US Presidential history and piece together a non-linear look at our collective past. Here's an example of our puppet mash-up:


As the election approaches, we will continue to bring you ridiculous puppetry to with the hope of lessening the burden of obsessing over the current race for the White House.

What happened on OCTOBER 5th in Presidential History?
Come find out at the next Empire Revue!


--Marya
Sparkling Beatnik

Hello in there, from out here!

Hello!

You already know this, because you were there, but we had a GREAT SHOW on Sunday! It was like a Springsteen concert: long, multiple encores, lots of sweating, and some sentimental favorites. Actually, The Sentimental Favorites were there. Bettie Sioux Tailor wowed us again with her brand of burlesque, Denise Moffatt brought her old school chops to the table as well. Stevie Lightin' did his thang, we swooned to the stylings of Bertrand Laurence, Jan Schmidt and Phil Goldman pulled out all the stops. Omar Reyes and Meg Powers joined the Sparkling Beatniks as our special guests-- it was a GREAT night. When's the next Empire Revue?? Glad you asked! Come 'round again on OCTOBER 5th 8pm, just 8 bucks! We can't wait to see, SOME of you. . .

Yes, Bill Wood-- we're not looking forward to seeing him. Here's why:

I caught you in the act!!


You thought you could get away with teaching innocent children to draw pictures of the devil himself didn't you?



But I know what you are up to. Those "audience" members in your show last night saw the photos I showed them and now they know. Your finished. You'll never work in this town again. The schools and libraries have been contacted and you are toast! My work is done. Although I will never rest easy as long as you have those disgusting displays of pagan worship you try to pass off as entertainment at the ASS20. Your show last night was no different. Women taking off their clothes, foreigners singing silly songs, puppet shows that no one understands especially your drunken audience, Egyptian mummies screaming, mermaids and lesbonians! Shame on you. After my cataract surgery heals completely I will be back in October to make your spread of the fecal stop for good!

Singed,
Bill Wood, Your neighbor




Oh Bill . . see ya soon, ya bastard.

Big in Japan

You're thinking WHERE DID THEY GO!
Well, we have shit to do.
No we don't.

We're just lazy. . .

If you missed our show, which was FULL of obscenities, worry not-- you can check out the best moments on you tube, when we get our hot little hands on those videos. Also, we said our goodbyes to a core member of the Sparkling Beatniks, Eric Fulford-- he's off to conquer Japan in a few weeks. We hope Eric goes Big In Japan, and cranks up a satellite Empire Revue there. But of course, the name will have to change. Got any ideas?

What about:

"Very, very good times, loud nasty, nasty, cheese puffs!"
I'm pretty sure that's the literal translation of Empire and Revue-- with a few liberties thrown in.

This is what The Empire Revue might be like in Japan. Or, on some distant planet:


Or, maybe this is more like it:



Signing off. . .
More drivel next time. . .

--Marya

Blog Czar and Sparkling Beatnik

We NOW have PROOF!

EUREKA!

Bill Wood, with his holier than thou antics, heckling our wonderful little show whenever the devil makes him do it. . .

Well sir, we now have PROOF that you, Mr. Bill, removed your clothing on our stage! That's YOU with guest Beatnik and burlesque artist Betty Sioux Tailor! The jig is up, man! What say you, scoundrel?? Is that an unabridged, pocket version of the New Testament in your gold hot pants, or are you just glad to see us? Please answer this query, you so and so.


Love,
The Sparkling Beatniks



Post Script: We blurred your true identity in an effort to
preserve a sliver of your anonymity, you sexy beast. . .

Another great night under the lights

MAN!
The show at Perishable last night was like Jem-- Truly OUTRAGEOUS.
Hotter than hell and packed to the gills, but a JAM-packed evening of non-stop entertainment for one and all. Our own Richard Goulis described the night like this:

Vomit and wigs
pasties and tights
Another great night
under the lights

Brownies and Ben
Velma or Verna
Uncle Dave birthed
and got a hernia

The Band played on
The crowd went "Harooo!"
An Historic event
Our Empire Revue.

And oh dear. . . we had to spoof our friends the hipsters. We love you guys, it's just that hipster is the new comedy, and we had to go there. Until we nail down that footage of our sketch for your perusal, we're hoping this flippin' SYMPOSIUM on hipsterness we just found on You Tube will satisfy your thirst:



And you know what's REALLY hilarious, is that a few of the panelists actually think hipster is a new concept, born in the trendy Brooklyn neighborhood of Williamsburg.

Have they not heard of Straight From the Fridge, Dad: a Dictionary of Hipster Slang? This invaluable dictionary was written/compiled by Max Decharne in the year 2000-- and consists of more than seventy years worth of righteous words and phrases complete with handy examples of the said word or phrase in a hip and happenin' sentence from old crime novels and beatnik text. You can't go wrong. Why talk when you can beat your chops? Here are a few words, along with a useful, Sparkling Beatnik sentence to get you started:


Slush Pump = trombone: "Check out Pam as she wails on her slush pump!"

Build me a drink= mix me a coctail: "Don't just stand there! Build me a drink!"

Fracture your toupee = Go crazy: "Hey, pipe down, fella. You don't wanna fracture your toupee."


Well, gotta go play my groan box. I mean, my accordion. Go on now, you cheeky people.

See you on AUGUST 3rd @ AS220!

Happy Birthday, Keith!

Hiya folks!

Just two days before the next Empire Revue! We're going to have a ball. At the moment, it's raining here, so I guess you'll just have to come to the show to get your fireworks!

Oh yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEITH! Born on the fourth of July! You, Stephen Foster, Leona Helmsley, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Calvin Coolidge and a few other famous folks. . . That's pretty awesome. In your honor, here's a little ditty by Jem and the Holograms I found on a friend's site, and I couldn't help sharing it! Truly outrageous!




See you all at the next Revue!!
Marya
Sparkling Beatnik

Len Cabral at the Empire Revue!

Internationally acclaimed storyteller Len Cabral, will perform at the next Empire Revue! Cabral's exuberant tales weave myth, magic, and his Cape Verdean ancestry into artful storytelling. Both Cabral and our good friend, Bill Harley will perform at the Taos Storytelling Festival in New Mexico later this year. See them BOTH at the Empire Revue on July 6th!

H is for Hipster

Want to know what we're working on for Sunday's show? Well, we're not much into spoilers but, here's a hint, courtesy of POYKPAC:




All we're saying is, H is for Hipster. Hang onto your Bronsons. . .
The tragically ironic never go out of style. . .

Whatever,
Marya

Welcome to our new Website!

Hey, this is Keith Munslow, people!

As we vault into our third season, the Empire Revue web presence continues to grow! In addition to this blog, our myspace and our You Tube pages, we've just launched our website. The site serves as a portal with links to the various internet arms of the Empire Revue and its artists. Soon the website will include info on our previous seasons, including cast bios, a FAQ page, a place to get your Empire Revue merch, downloadable hokum and more! Visit us early and often!

See ya at the next show on July 6th!

Keith
Your Host and fellow Sparkling Beatnik

Dressed up as a gigantic Anne Geddes model?

I am currently a long-term substitute teacher, and my students recently discovered the ol’ Empire Revue. At first, I was terrified- what would they think? Would they lose their respect for me after seeing me dressed up as a gigantic Anne Geddes model? Would the proliferation of bouncing pasties offend their delicate adolescent sensibilities? Would I walk into school one morning and be greeted with a hearty “I shoulda thrown you in the dumpster the day you were born, you fuckin’ retahd!” As it turned out, my fears were unfounded. The kids love the Revue, and I realized that I underestimated their maturity. If anything, they respect me MORE having seen the Revue- even kids I’ve never had before are finding the youtube videos. And they are certainly mature enough to handle the “adult themes” present in our show. Yes, it looks as though I worried for nothing. It’s not like my students would ever take advantage of my participation in something like the Revue. They certainly wouldn’t try to use it as a tool to potentially boost their own grades, would they?


Written on the back of a final exam:









…*sigh*



Eric
The Professor

Become one of our intrepid sponsors!

Can you believe that back in the day a show like ours would have had its own digs? That's cool, no problem. We like the little stage we haunt, one evening a month, at AS220, and we love it when you pack the house! But you know what we miss? We miss the good old FTP.

We had, for four short years from 1935-1939 a NATIONAL THEATRE in this great country of ours and it was called The Federal Theatre Project, part of the New Deal, approved by one of our favorite Presidents, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. The FTP gave hope to the hopeless, as the country struggled to climb out of the pit of the Great Depression. Headed by Hallie Flanagan, The Federal Theatre Project pulled actors, directors, stage hands, set and costume designers, writers SHOW FOLKS out the bread lines and put us all back to work! Even a brash young man named Orson Welles got his big break, stateside, with his direction of Voodoo Macbeth which featured an all-black cast! REVOLUNTIONARY!!




The FTP was disbanded in 1939. The deal was apparently too new-- the FTP was labeled, "Communist." Welcome to the dawn of the Red Scare. . .

Today, lots of artists like us who make our own work, cobble together a living just short of Piracy. And we live to have the kind of fun we muster up at the Empire Revue-- we're grateful for your patronage. For two years we've been sweatin' and dancin' and singin' and foolin' around, for your amusement, and ours! Thanks to the generous folks at AS220 for giving us a home, and thanks to EMPIRE LOAN for their unwavering sponsorship.

We're living in a different kind of great depression, now-- if you know a patron of the vaudeville arts who'd like to become one of our intrepid sponsors, come on up at the end of the show and let Keith Munslow know!



See you on July 6th!
Marya
Sparkling Beatnik

The Empire Revue turns TWO!

The Empire Revue celebrates its Second Anniversary in July! Hard to believe, but true. With new acts and an ever-expanding audience, we're showing no signs of slowing down in the season ahead. As Hannah Devine springboards over to the Emerald Isle, and Eric Fulford sets his sights on spending a year teaching in Japan, we welcome veteran actress/director/writer Kate Lohman to the Beatnik fold. Kate's many years in the Rhode Island theatre scene and her smart-n- twisted sense of humor make her a shoe-in with fellow cast members and audiences alike.

Bettysioux Tailor, also a featured performer in our show, continues to expand her presence in the cabaret. Miss Bettysioux is a BIG HIT with our audiences, with her sensational burlesque dances and stellar costumes, but she's also a terrific actress. Bettysioux joined us as a Guest Beatnik for the June show, adding acting and singing to her plate. Not to mention an inspired run-in with our heckler Bill Wood who turned out to be. . . HER FATHER! You'll just have to wait until the video of this historic confluence is posted. Let us just say, "You had to be there". Bettysioux will be back to perform her own brand of burlesque, in July!

Also in July we welcome Omar Reyes as our Guest Beatnik. Omar is originally From New York City and moved to North Providence during his freshman year of high school. At the end of his senior year in college he discovered the Providence Poetry Slam @ AS220 and is now the Poetry Slam Director in training. Congratulations, and welcome to the show, Omar!

And, our long anticipated website, empirerevue.com will be up and running SOON (we promise) with able assistance from Tree Kangaroo Creative's Serena Andrews. (Perhaps we'll get Serena to bring back her born-in-Bangor, alter ego character Bertha to grace our stage!)


Lots and lots brewing, people, so stay tuned!

Keith Munslow
Your Host and fellow Beatnik


The Empire Revue Turns TWO!
July 6 @ 8pm
Perishable Theatre (in JULY only!!)
$8

Mmmm . . . Cocktails!

The Empire Revue House Band is none other than Superchief Trio (with special guest, Tom Ferraro)! If you're a regular at the show, then you know how sizzlin' hot this band can get when things are really cooking. What's that? How'd the band get started? Glad you asked! Here's a little something about Superchief Trio:

***

Superchief Trio features a unique combination of two-fisted piano, red hot trombone, powerful vocals and frenzied percussion antics, all rolled up into one small package. Swing, New Orleans R&B, jump blues, boogie-woogie - it's all in there. And with a repertoire of tasty original tunes and carefully selected covers by Professor Longhair, Huey Smith, Smiley Lewis, Wee Willie Wayne and a raft of others, this group is the ultimate dance-party band.

Pianist Keith Munslow met trombonist Pam Murray at Providence arts incubator AS220, where they performed together in the Smoking Jackets and the Neo 90s Dance Band. Keith and drummer Johnny Cote played together in the Big Nazo band, and soon Johnny became the drummer for the Neo 90s. Having cut their teeth on rough-and-tumble dance blues with the Smoking Jackets, Keith and Pam began playing gigs at a dim and smoky basement bar (now defunct) called The East Bay Regatta Club. Owing to safety in numbers, Johnny Cote was recruited, and Superchief Trio was born. The casual nature of the place and its heckling denizens encouraged recklessness and experimentation with new songs, new arrangements and inspired a higher level of daredevil musical abandon. Emerging from this subterranean honky-tonk, Superchief Trio continues the tradition of good-time music and barrelhouse hijinks.

***

But one song is never enough with this band. Why not go to one of their gigs? Check out Superchief Trio later this month:

Saturday, June, 14 2008 at The Cambridge River Festival
along the banks of the Charles River, Cambridge, Massachusetts

Friday June 20, 2008 at Lucky's in Foster
143 Danielson Pike RI 02825
8:30- 12:30

And of course, at the Empire Revue, JULY 6th! @ 8pm
(we're @ Perishable Theatre next month . . .)

See ya there!
Marya
Beatnik

Rebel Lovers? Who Knew?

Well, Obama is the Democratic Nominee, though Clinton has yet to concede. It's going to be a long, hot, sticky road to the White House, so we might as well have a few laughs along the way. To honor of the tug of war to come, the Sparkling Beatniks offer a new segment to The Empire Revue for your amusement, and perhaps, your amazement.

The Empire Revue presents

TODAY IN PRESIDENTIAL HISTORY!

On the first Sunday of every month at AS220, we will highlight events in the history of this fine nation, no matter how obscure, no matter absurd the moment may be. And, we're doing it with puppets. If you missed the June 1st installment of Today in Presidential History, here's a little recap.

On June 1st:

• The Brits sank the US Frigate Chesapeake.
  
• Kentucky and Tennessee joined the Union.
• Owen Goulis turned 6, and became President, in the future.
• Marilyn Monroe was born.

Probably the most wonderfully obscure event in Presidential history on this date was the death of James Buchanan, president #15. Actually, the life of Buchanan was a lot more interesting. Buchanan was and still is the only US president to never marry, AND he lived with Alabama Senator William Rufus King for 15 years prior to his presidency, possibly making him the first openly, closeted gay president of the United States. That's right. You heard me.

What's so funny about that? What's the evidence, you might ask. Well, apparently, bloodthirsty Andrew Jackson referred to King, Buchanan's domestic partner as, "Miss Nancy" and "Miss Fancy."

That's ridiculous enough for us. . .

Check out the show on July 6th. Guess who turns a year older. George Walker Bush. This is gonna be fun.

See you at the show,
Marya
Sparkling Beatnik.


PS-- JULY'S EMPIRE REVUE will be @ Perishable Theatre, right next door to AS220. BE THERE!